A Case of the Thinks: Birth

I saw this quote the other day that said something like..

The best book is lived not written. 

It struck me so deeply because as I draw closer and closer to the birth of my new direction in business I find myself relying fully on lived experience instead of book knowledge.

This approach is new for me. I'm a 5 on the enneagram. I can research, learn, and teach with the best of them. It's almost easier to teach what I've learned than assign words and strategies to what I've lived.

That's why as I come close to the delivery date of my new business direction I find myself wanting to hold on just a little longer.

Maybe you've experienced this? Maybe you wanted to keep your baby in the womb just a little bit longer! Or your adult child in your home. Or your secret project under wraps a little longer.

Internally we know that it's time. But something inside still craves the safety and solitude of development.

I'm ready to give birth. Not overdue yet but I am packing my bags for the hospital kind of ready.

I've ticked off the list of most of the necessities. I just have to put them in the bag and set it by the door.

I've never enjoyed the process of growth. In fact, even when I was pregnant I was famous for saying... "I can't wait until he/she is out of me".

I didn't see growth as equally (if not more) valuable than birth.

But now I do. In fact... now I love being in the growth stage SO MUCH that I'm not sure I want to share it! I feel selfish.

Maybe it's fear... I'll accept that diagnosis. As a sensitive person, I really hate the feeling of being judged. I also love the deep thinking I've been able to do in my time of silence.

Somehow I feel a lot of pressure to get this right after closing everything down and hiding my soul away for a year. What will people think of this? Will they roll their eyes and say... "there goes Kellie - changing things up again".

And then the little voice inside says... "Reminder... You only have to birth." I can refuse to absorb the thoughts of others. I can focus so intently on my lived experience that it can't be perceived as anything but beautiful.

I wonder how many times I purposefully changed my copy, offers, approach, or marketing because I could hear the voices of others? I wonder how many times my failures were due to my desire to please others - while ignoring myself.

Maybe I'm afraid to give birth to my ideas because I'm not confident that I won't go back to those old beliefs and ways of being.

Have I grown enough? Am I ready?

But as I sit here packing my bags, getting ready for delivery there's one thing I'm holding onto. Something I've never experienced before.

Peace.

Everything is going to be ok. I'm going to help the people that I'm supposed to help. I'm going to follow my own way of being. I'm going to honor my sensitivities and allow them to lead the way.

This journey is still mine. I planted it. I grew it. I cared for it. And now I get the privilege of sharing it with others.

That's the book I choose to be.