A Case of the Thinks: Happiness
Yesterday...
Yesterday I looked at my husband and said, "I'm happy."
I didn't just mean I was happy that I was eating a cookie. Or happy that I was having coffee. Or happy that my plants were growing.
What I meant was that I was HAPPY on the inside.
Fullness. Contentedness.
I've only ever shared bits and pieces of my story. Mostly because it's mine. I've wanted to keep it to myself until recently.
I've been working quietly with intention on the new direction for my business. I've only started sharing my experiences with clients again. I've been working on branding and marketing strategies.
I've been quietly transforming. It's been hard. Sometimes messy. But incredibly rewarding and healing.
Healing manifests joy.
Now don't hear me wrong... things are NOT perfect in my life right now. I have several reasons to NOT be happy.
My van is requiring a very expensive repair. My son is making a huge life transition right now that's imposing on my schedule and patterns. I have a list of to-do's I haven't managed to get to. And just as the hottest days of this last week hit our air conditioner went out.
Not to mention we're hot on the heels of a 5-day hospital stay for an emergency appendectomy for my daughter. Waiting for that bill like... Yikes!
I have lots of reasons to be unhappy.
Normally... all of this "chaos" would have me feeling really tightly wound. I respond by getting very rigid and go into problem-solving mode. My kids call it "business mommy".
In short, my masculine energy reigns supreme and I tuck away all of my sensitivities and feelings to "deal with" at a later date.
Can you relate? Ever told your sensitivities "ain't nobody got time for dat"?
BUT... I broke that cycle. I healed that part of me. Yesterday was proof.
I know how to feel true JOY... even when things aren't joyful. Sitting there at the table I felt it and I noticed it.
So I tapped the top of his head... looked into his eyes and said...
"Guess What? I'm happy! Like actually happy."
And I actually meant it.
Ponder This
Can you remember the last time you actually felt happy on the inside?
Do you know the source of your internal happiness?
What does it require to have it?
What do you have to surrender in order to receive it?
What lies do you have to untruth before you believe it's available to you?
I know that my journey to happiness started at the time that chose to surrender. I knew that the inner peace I desired only came when I released my inner control freak and believed that I was going to be ok. That everything was working out in my favor.
Your turn!
Feel free to leave your answers in the comments! I'd love to hear. Or just do them for yourself!