Why Small Business Owners Don’t Need to Hustle
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I recently saw a post from a business coach that reminded me why I set off on this journey into slow living and business. It was something I would have (and probably did) write less than a year ago.
I'll paraphrase.
I have grown 2 businesses to millions of dollars and it's all because I hustled hard and never stopped working.
We've all heard this before. In fact, one of the commenters mentioned that this was the 4th post she'd seen that day from coaches about hustling.
But this particular post went even further by saying a version of the following;
People that are suggesting that you don't need to hustle or even worse that you can manifest your business dreams are selling you snake oil.
There's a reprieve here when the poster says that they believe in businesses filled with joy and freedom. That soon goes away however when the key to joy and freedom is in being up at 5 am, drinking coffee, having back-to-back meetings, and hustling. That's where the impact and millions are.
I've paraphrased but the message is clear. If you want to succeed, hustling is not an option it's a requirement.
In the past, I would have likely agreed to this way of thinking. In fact, I probably taught it too.
I remember the very long hours I worked. The very late nights responding to messages. I remember the feelings of short-term success hustle provides. I remember feeling important when I had back-to-back meetings. I remember this mindset.
But I don't believe that anymore.
I do believe that staying focused, doing the work, and producing results are what bring a soul closer to their desired outcome.
What I don't believe is that "hustle" is the catalyst for that success.
This is my case against hustle culture... and my apology to all those I made hustle.
Hustle Culture Isn't New
I've been studying and researching the concept of ambition, industry, and hustle for a year now.
In fact, the word SLOW is rooted in the Old English meaning inactive, lazy, and sluggish. Or sleu in Old Saxon. A negative word for sour, tart, or dull. In the early 13th century slow meant taking a long time.
In 1843 an imaginary disease was created called "The Slows" to diagnose lethargy or what was considered laziness.
"She has a case of the slows" a doctor might say. It makes you wonder what the antidote was!?
Humans have always been keen to make more, do more, work harder, and achieve. This is in our very DNA. Our primal ancestors survived by their desire to eat, sleep, and stay warm. Impatience and ambition kept us alive. The desire to survive is why we act. The history of hustle is a primal one.
But very few of us still live off the land. Very few of us don't have access to resources to keep us alive. We are still biologically spurred to action but those actions aren't for simple survival. We've already achieved that!
So what are we hustling for?
SUCCESS DEFINED
As we became a more civilized society the ideal look of success continued to evolve.
In the Victorian era it was successful to be curvy, creamy white, and dripping in fine dyed linen. This meant you were well fed, didn't work in the fields, and had disposable income to purchase the finer things.
Over time the vision of success became large homes, cars, boats, and businesses with more employees. Success was measured by spreadsheets, possessions, and numbers in your bank account.
Visible success is a result of our primal desire. To prove that we are survivors. And surviving better than others.
With wealth, possessions, and commerce comes power, influence, and opportunity.
We are a species that equates success with power. We've claimed and now believe that power is only found by gaining wealth, possessions, and influence.
That is the success we've been conditioned to desire. And that is why we believe that hustling is the only way.
HUSTLE DEFINED
The way we use the word HUSTLE as it relates to business growth is quite different from its original etymology.
The word hustle has it's roots in Middle Dutch, translated from hutselen, to shake or toss. That's because in the 17th century to hustle meant to play a dice game of luck and chance. To hustle meant to "push roughly, shove" first recorded in 1751. In 1821 the word was recorded meaning "bustle, work busily, move quickly".
The actual definition of the word hustle isn't a positive one.
Verb:
force someone to move hurriedly or unceremoniously in a specified direction
push roughly, jostle
HUSTLEITIS
How did we all get a case of Hustle-itis?
Well look around you! What's on your right? Left? What's under your thumb? What's in your driveway?
Innovation in manufacturing and technology plays a huge part in our desire to hustle.
We've seen stories of simple ideas like a payment gateway turning into a program like SpaceX at the hands of Elon Musk. We've watched start ups sell in the billions in record time. We have access to information and commerce at the literal tip of our fingers. We are more connected than ever before.
In 2006 you were perfectly happy if your webpage loaded in 4 seconds. Today it's 1/4th of a second. Our attention spans have declined as our access to information and entertainment has rapidly increased. We even walk 15% faster than we did even 5 years ago.
In fact, scientists across the United States have identified a new disorder called "Slowness Rage". Defined by a strong emotional or physical reaction to things that are slow. We are members of "impatience culture" with fast food, grub hub, Amazon Prime, and more. We opt for quick wins instead of long-term fulfillment and wholeness. We chase the right audience, shift our offers, and work to stay relevant.
We fear slow growth.
We want things faster, better, and bigger than ever before. And we believe that hustle is what gets it.
The fast pace of our current environment has reset our internal timers. We are incredibly out of balance.
Patience is a virtue that's been vanquished.
This is where Hustle-itis takes hold. Hustle is the tool we use to appease our ambition and to control our outcomes. Or to feel as if we've gained the power and influence we so desire. Money doesn't suck either. It's worth it.
That's why you have hustle-itis. That's also why a person with hustle-itis feels it's their job to tell others to also hustle.
Hustle is a harmful infection that you choose to be sick with.
HEALING THE HUSTLE
Imagine you've passed onto your next eternity and those who loved and respected you are standing over your grave.
What will they say? What will they remember?
Will one of them mention the number of cups of coffee you drank every day? Will anyone talk about the "empire" you said you were building? Will they recall all of your working hours with reverence or disdain?
How will your grandchildren and children define your legacy? And how do you want them to remember you?
I chose to heal my hustle. I wanted my family to say that I was present, available, gentle, and hard-working. I wanted them to see me as a living and breathing example of what it meant to be whole. I wanted them to say that I always did my BEST.
I wanted them to remember my gentle hugs. I wanted them to talk about the times I smiled or laughed. I wanted them to talk about lakes and mountains. I wanted them to remember how our home felt. I wanted them to feel deeply seen and heard.
None of which was being accomplished while I was hustling. I was hustling... and no matter how hard I hustled I still wasn't fulfilled. I thought I was happy. I thought I was doing what a business owner should do. I thought depriving myself was admirable. I thought all of this sacrifice and energetic output would bring me success, power, notoriety... and for me ultimately WORTH. I hustled to be valuable, needed, and respected.
Curing yourself from hustle-itis requires a deep awareness of where your ambition is rooted. It requires that you take a clear and even ugly look at what you've been taught to believe. It required me to hold in my hands my pain, desire, trauma, and dreams.
You see... to truly heal the hustle one must come to a place of full surrender. You have to transform in the love of self and life that you fully believe that everything you ever needed or wanted is already inside of you.
I had to come to a place where I fully embrace the idea that wealth, influence, and freedom only come when I am full, grounded, and free inside of what I already am. I already HAVE everything I need.
Friends.... the cure to hustle is pure unadulterated peace.
When you find this peace - how and why you work changes. It's not the millions you're proud of. It's not the hustle. It's not the follower count or the number of clients. It's not the back-to-back meetings or the empire you've built. What you become proud of is yourself.
You are proud of the aligned work you "manifest". There's that snake oil word. Manifesting isn't about making a wish on a dandelion. It's about falling so in love with yourself that every action you take manifests your desired outcome.
This transformation still requires hard work... in fact, it's often harder than hustling blindly. It requires dealing with things you've been avoiding. It often requires you to knock down the castles of protection you've built and start again. It requires you to SLOW DOWN and listen... to yourself, to your desires, and then to act.
Before my transformation, my kids remember a very busy mom. One who went through the day trying to tick of a to-do list. Working from a place of scarcity and survival. Creating from a place of hustle and relevancy.
Not now. They see the changes. Our home looks like it. Our children feel it. Our life patterns represent it.
I've healed my toxic relationship with hustle because I learned a powerful lesson.
It's not about finding life's purpose. It's about finding purpose in life.
PONDER THIS...
It's ok if you don't know where to start. I've just condensed 4 years of personal development and realization into a few minutes. The journey to healing your hustle will be exactly that... a journey.
It's not meant to have a beginning and an end. You'll fail often when you're not mindful of your intentions.
Adopting a slower pace for your life and business doesn't mean that life won't have its normal ebbs and flows of busyness. You have no one to compare your journey to but yourself. Your path is your own.
That is the most hopeful and meaningful part of your choice to release the hustle. You get to do it on your own terms.
Here's a few easy ways to begin:
SIT IN SILENCE
Just sit. There's no trick here. Put your phone down, turn off the music, and just sit still. See what happens within your body and your mind. Does it come alive with to-do lists? Does it begin to crave noise? Do you have feelings of laziness or worthlessness? Do you feel boredom?
Sit with these feelings. Notice them. Reflect on why they exist. Ask yourself if you agree with them or want them? Just noticing your reaction to silence will help you to realize much of why you're addicted to hustle.
DO SOMETHING FOR PLEASURE ONLY
Too often we plan our businesses and lives around producing useful outcomes. It's considered practical and productive. Things we do for pleasure are often called frivolous, pointless, or vain. But it's in these moments of pleasure we fully understand who we are and what we want. So take that nature walk. Go sit by the water. Take a longer shower. Color in an adult coloring book. Play with plants. Whatever brings you pleasure and lights you up inside set aside time to do it. Even when it doesn't produce an outcome.
Evaluate how you feel. Do you feel pleasure and guilt? Do you feel selfish? Can you relax into the pleasure and make time or space for your desires? Do you react by staying up later for "work" or doing more the next day? Can you identify areas where you've deprived yourself?
Notice this. Begin to determine how you'll prioritize pleasure above hustle.
EVALUATE YOUR ACTIONS
What if you asked yourself WHY AM I DOING THIS? for every single action you take in a day? For example, you may know quickly why you change a diaper or the trash but do you know why you spend an hour on social media. Do you know why you set that goal? Do you know the exact internal reason for the actions your ambition has created?
I noticed that my actions created a lot of clutter in my life and in my business. I over-acted. I thought that doing more was doing better. What would happen if didn't do this action? Would anyone notice? Would it change your revenue or success? Can you choose not to do an action without guilt or fear of failure?
Look at your action plans and ask yourself... can I do less to have more?
It's easy to think that if you were more organized, quicker, or had less life distractions that you'd be able to grow your business more easily. You might have purchased a slew of pens and journals hoping to get it together. You probably have a list of things you should be "BETTER" at by now.
You might even scoff at the idea that slowing down is the cure for "getting it all in". That's ok. Now you know where to start.
To cure hustle-itis you have to learn why you started hustling in the first place.