*Reminder! This is a new easy read blog format. It's short on design and images but packed full of challenging thoughts and information.

I recently asked the Creatives with Purpose community an important question.

What would happen if you showed up for yourself for just 30 minutes a day? What would change?

What would you do?

There were lots of answers. Some were simple like go to sleep on time. Others were more complex like addressing negative self-talk.

But one of our group members asked a poignant question.

Exactly what did I mean by showing up for yourself?

Great question! 

I asked for time to respond because... I really wanted to be intentional about my answer. And I wanted to really decipher what it meant to me when I said it as well as what I had hoped it would mean to others.

Then... how can I break down this concept in a way that's easy to adapt and create intention around.

That is exactly what I've been focusing on the last few days as I've thought this through.

What it means to me...

The transparent and immediate answer to this question is that THIS is the question I asked myself that morning about exercise and food. I asked myself what would happen if I just showed up for myself every day for 7 days for 30 minutes. Could I do it.

You see... I've learned as I've addressed my own trauma that I am a master self-sabatoger disguised as serving others.

There's no time for me because I'm doing all this other stuff for these people. Because without me - they wouldn't *fill in the blanks*.

This was my reasoning for 9.9 out of 10 of my excuses for self-care.

So when I asked the question to myself it meant in short.... what if you didn't self-sabotage this week?

This left me to unwind self-sabotage as it relates to showing up for myself.

Realizing that could take a whole book series I want to boil this down to 3 main reasons why I (and maybe you) self-sabotage. And then what it would look like to show up for myself.

Reasons I self-sabotage: 

1. Serving Others: I was raised to serve others. (more on that in this blog post) I was taught to find worth in what you give to others and how you impact their lives. This is sacrificial service, boundary-less giving, and constant availability. So when it's time to show up for myself... I feel selfish. It's not really about not being worth it... it's more about feeling good that I sacrificed the good for myself so someone else could have it.
2. Control: When you serve others as your primary function you begin to find ways to self-soothe. For me, that is often related to food choices. What I put in my mouth (and the emotions attached to it) are only mine. So I would eat what I wanted -regardless of the results. It was about having a choice and control over at least one thing in my life.
3. Fear: Maybe I feared failure (less likely since I almost always achieve what I put my mind to) but it's more likely that I fear the unknown. I don't know what it's like to NOT have, do, be a different way... and that causes me to roadblock my own life. And... I never physically show fear... so I just push it down and march on (see #2 and why cookie dough is my arch-nemesis).

What it looks like to show up for myself: 

1. Self then Others: For me showing up for myself looks like resetting my boundaries and tolerance. I have to say NO when I feel NO. I have to stand up for myself when I'm wronged. I have to stand strong in what I want and what's important to me. I have to prioritize myself so that I have something to offer others. Instead of shoving my needs to the bottom of the pile.
2. Space: Yes I need physical space but I also had very little personal time or space weaved into my life. In fact, I've had to remind my family to ask me what I want to do and what I need! Intention setting has made a huge difference for me as it relates to self-care. By asking myself what I need to be successful every day I'm fully attuned to meeting my own needs.
3. Belief: This sounds super WOO... but strong and capable humans like myself often suffer from fear as a result of hustle. I know that showing up for myself means trusting that what is mine belongs to me and what I cannot control is not my problem. I have to believe fully that I am in charge of my best path and that if I listen to my intuition that I will lead myself on the right path. And... to be perfectly transparent... I'm still working on this every. single. day.

What showing up means for you?

It's really easy to put ourselves last. Maybe it's service to others, control, and fear for you too. Or it's something else. There's no one size fits all roadblock blog post.

So I'd turn that question around and ask... what does it mean to YOU when I say SHOW UP?

What I intended with my words was to say... can you be present for yourself? Can you prioritize yourself? Can you drop your excuses at the door and take back control of things in your life? Can you do something just for you?

Will you take the opportunity to give yourself exactly what you need to be successful and whole?

Or will you continue to let yourself be last? Will you swallow it down one more time?

How showing up for yourself changes everything!

I won't pretend to have mastered this. In fact, it's almost 4 pm and all I've eaten today is some pretzels and an apple. And I've contemplated a second cup of coffee and making cookies more times than I'd like to admit. I've had to pick up my kid, 2 kids to school, a website to build, orders to fill, and people to answer on social media. See how I do?

But I can tell you what happens when I do show up for myself.

When I show up for myself fully I go to bed at a decent time because I know that a well rested me doesn't need more coffee and craves sweets less.

I turn on my zen music, the heater, strip off my uncomfortable clothes, and work out at night before bed. Because that's me time that's non-negotiable... and I always feel so incredible every time I do it.

I read more. Because I need to be learning and engaging with new content to keep me lit up inside.

I produce better work. I edit less, doubt less, worry less, and trust more. And the work has better results. ie: I make more money and business booms.

I say NO! And I stand up to people when they cross my boundaries... and then I complain less about a life I have no control over.

I choose food that makes my belly feel green. Weird I know... but feeling green (like growth and health) on the inside is a goal of mine... it helps me to balance the foods more easily.

I compare less. Judge less. Spend less time online. Love myself more. Feel alive inside. And breath deeper.

So what does it mean to show up for yourself and for your business?

I don't know... what does it mean to you?