It's impossible to draw a map of your personal and spiritual growth journey. I've actually tried. Thinking maybe I would crack the code of the system for awakening. It's laughable I know...

But I did realize something very profound.

While there may not be directions for how you'll grow personally and professionally as a creative, there is a pass-through station almost all people experience as they begin to grow and become their highest self.

I believe these are the three parts of that pass-through.

Simplify. Optimize. Align.

I've completely remodeled my consulting practices and belief structure for scaling around this model. I know that it works because this is my exact journey! This is the painful and beautiful road I walked to arrive at today's destination.

In this post, I'll walk you through each of these (for lack of a better word) steps. Know that none of these steps are easy. None of them have a straight line of progress. There's no template for becoming. I'll share with you what I tackled for myself so that you may find something you can apply to your life and business - and find your own way!

If you look up the definition of EXTRA in the dictionary you might just find my picture. Not kidding. I'm the QUEEN of extra! For me, there was something about going ABOVE and BEYOND for others that made me believe I was doing something good! By doing EVERYTHING I was showing people that I was a servant and available to love them.

In my business, I was always working to create something new. Trying to prove my worth. Show others that I was valid or hardworking. I believed that to stay relevant and trustworthy you needed to be on the cutting edge and in the know ALL. THE. TIME. This behavior forced me to continue activating my brute force will in my business. I must DO to BE. There was never enough. There was never RESTING.

When I realized how much I was shelling out of the bank of SERVICE and how much I had in savings - I grieved. First blaming others for taking so much. Then realizing that it was my own need to be EXTRA and to be accepted by others that informed my actions. Once that realization sunk in fully I was easily able to SEE all of the EXTRA in my life.

Extra STUFF. Extra EFFORT. Extra CLOTHES. Extra TABLES. Extra WEIGHT. Extra NOTEBOOKS. Extra EXPECTATIONS.

I knew I needed to face all of the extra in my life and release it. Release what I believe it provided for me and open myself to what life might feel like when it's more simple. I started in my home. My closet actually.

Purging the things I didn't like, didn't feel like me, or I didn't wear made me realize how often I relegated myself to the clearance rack. Believing I only deserved so much. Once the closet was cleared, I created a simplified but aligned way of dressing. I decided to not just buy things on clearance but to buy the things I really loved and that had a purpose.

Changing my clothes changed my life. I get dressed easily now. I know that I have everything I need to feel like myself when I get dressed. I believe that I am worth a purchase - even if it's not on clearance. And... I spend less time shopping, less time figuring out what I have to wear, and less money by just buying what I like.

Once the closet was done I used this same method all over my LIFE (and then my business). I tore out closets worth of things. We donated, sold, and purged and purged. Everything we touched we asked, "Does this item or way of living support the life we want to live?" If not, we tossed it or revisited how we do it.

I now only buy jeans and black leggings for my kids - to make getting ready and dressed easier. We removed the dining room table and turned our kitchen and dining room into an open concept lobby space! Our family was shocked but now my children spend more time together. We turned the garage into what looks like a studio space! It's full of our favorite things! Everything is useful and visible and it's a safe place for my children to craft, play, and explore. It's different than your typical garage... but it works for us! And that's what matters.

Business... was A LOT harder! I spent an entire year in turmoil. Trying to determine how to simplify things. I tried lots of things that felt totally wrong... but I tried them anyway.

It wasn't until I ran out of energy to do ANY OF IT that I realized all of the pressure I felt to create was completely self-imposed. No one was asking where that thing was or why I didn't go live. No one! All of the EXTRA I had stuffed into my business was MY FAULT!

That's when I decided to eliminate everything and start fresh! To simplify you have to get rid of it all and create something new and better. 

This is why I deleted my entire subscribers' list of over 10k people. This is why I wiped out all of my Instagram followers. This is why I deleted all of my extra URLs. This is why I cleaned out my friend's list. This is why I invited people to leave my online community. This is why I now only have ONE inbox, ONE Instagram account, ONE website, and ONE focus - Intention.

It required that I come to terms with the story I had created. A successful person is always striving for more. 

I had to replace that story with... a successful person is always striving for BETTER. 

And that can only arrive when you release your energy through simplifying your life and business.

Once I began simplifying I found myself with a lot of space.

I'd gotten rid of the things that were keeping my needlessly busy and overwhelmed!

All of a sudden what was left was JUST ME. I had to face myself.

I had to address the identities I had accepted or given to myself.

Bubbly. Shoe Lover. Bold. Sassy. Strong. Fat. Hard Working. Available. Servant.

These identities weren't always mine. They had been given to me by others. From the time of childhood all the way to today. This is what other people believed and wanted me to be... so that is what I became.

It was through meditation that I started to shed these identities. One evening as I laid in my bed and began a gratitude mediation I began to thank myself.

That is still one of the most profound moments of my growth journey.

I thanked my mind for creating and developing what it had. I thanked my body for carrying me and protecting me and giving me my life and children. I thanked my heart for loving others and being a sacrificial servant to others. I thanked myself for always showing up for others.

And then I released it all. I released the identities that I believed were ME.

The most fascinating part of this journey is that I didn't actually CHANGE MYSELF.

It was more like an expedition. A finding and uncovering of who I've been all along. A "coming out" of the person I kept hiding in the corner hoping to one day get back to. I didn't CHANGE... I just became more ME.

Our society works so hard at trying to convince us to change ourselves.

Try this 3 step cure-all, take this pill, do this exercise, read this book, or wear this makeup.

There's more ways to CHANGE who you are than there are ways to FIND who you've always been. That's why we're all so lost and far away from what we want to be. We're conditioned to WANT to change ourselves. As if you can upgrade to a new model.

What I realized is that you can't actually CHANGE yourself. Nor should you!

You will always fail to activate when the goal does not support your inner purpose.

That was when I realized that to become the human and business person I wanted to be I needed to HEAL myself. I worked on my limiting beliefs - facing them head-on. I healed and released the childhood trauma I denied I had. I forgave myself for all of the time I denied my soul of rest, care, and attention. I even allowed myself to sit in a place of stillness without requirement to succeed or achieve.

I worked on me. I optimized what already existed inside of me.

Optimizing you means that you come to terms with who and what you REALLY are. You accept it. Embrace it even. You believe fully that your real YOU is needed and valued and loved exactly as you are.

Then you begin rewriting the rules you've created for yourself. You allow yourself to do things that others might think are weird or different. You stop caring that your way of living isn't what others expect of you. You begin exercising your boundaries and they feel amazing! You learn when your energy is depleted and you know exactly how to refill yourself.

YOU FULLY EMBRACE AND BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF!

And then... everything around you changes!

This final step was absolutely the most difficult.

I knew exactly what I desired. But I didn't know if what I had created all of this time even worked anymore. I was too different from the person who hustled to create those things.

This was true in every area of my life and business. Did I even want to do those things anymore? Do I care about that moms' group? Do I need to engage in that mastermind? Do I want to offer this product? Do I even believe what I tell my clients anymore?

Aligning with your creative intention often feels like a painful shedding of what you believed was good. It's sustained you. It's created the success you have right now.

It's terrifying to admit internally, and then externally, that what you were will not create what you want to be. There's grief, shame, and then a vulnerability that has to be processed and healed.

From that place however, you can begin AGAIN. You can create from an intentional soul. You can focus solely on the efforts that bring you closer to the way you wish to show up in the world around you.

You get to recreate your identities. You choose who you believe you are! You make what you want... and the universe in turn provides the monetary rewards.

Aligning yourself may look like tearing it all down and starting over. Even though it's terrifying and world-shaking.

Aligning might look like replacing old stories with the question... IS THIS TRUE? And acting only on what is.

Aligning your business may mean releasing what isn't working, changing your path, or finding joy in other things.

Aligning might mean that you have to admit that you're not the same as you once were.

This means that you stop asking others how they "do it".

This means that your FOMO magically disappears and all you truly care about is YOUR work.

This means that competition of any kind doesn't impact your direction.

This means you can stop doing things you don't feel the urge or desire to do.

You are free to choose your own tools (even if they're different). You are free to change anything in your business (even if it's different). You are free to say no to opportunities that aren't right for you (even if everyone else says yes). You are free to live life on your terms (even if Karen doesn't like it). You are free to stop doing things that no longer serve you (even if others are counting on you).

YOU ARE FREE!

The place of alignment and soul desire is where you find the freedom to live and create with purpose!

It's where your ideas are the most impactful. It's where your words are the most inspirational. It's where work feels like play and peace fills your heart!

Alignment means that your mind, body, and soul are working together to help you achieve your greatest desires.

I hope you loved this post as much as I loved writing it for you! I help creative entrepreneurs do everything with intention. Business, Life, Love, Family, and Everything in Between. If you loved this blog post and would like to get to know me better here's a few ways to do that!

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